As I have said before, I didn’t want to get married again. I had no intentions of falling in love again. Robert came along and changed that for me.
I fully believe that people come into your life for a reason. I had told Robert a few weeks after his amazing proposal, that I wasn’t supposed to marry him because he wasn’t saved and I was. I wasn’t trying to be judgmental or look down on him, I was just stating a fact. I went against Gods’ will and married him. I really felt in my heart that Robert would get saved. So it was a leap of faith as well and not really a deliberate disobedience.
Six months into our marriage we had went through the hardest thing of my life, the illness and death of my papa. Robert had been amazing through it all, even though at the time I’m sure he felt like he did nothing right based on how I acted. It was a hard time. He asked me one night as we were laying in bed how we were as a couple. I said “okay.” He was very hurt by that answer and didn’t know what I meant by just “okay.” We went to bed after arguing and fussing, hurt and both isolated feeling. I had told him that I didn’t feel like we were close and that I believed it was because he wasn’t saved he didn’t and couldn’t know what true love was so we could not have that bond, but as a couple we were as good as we could be.
The next morning after that discussion, I went to him and told him that I was sorry, I was sad and still grieving (and still am) and I was only “okay” but I loved him and never wanted to be without him and didn’t hold anything against him. He showed me his heart and cried to me saying he never wanted to lose me. After that conversation and a few weeks of my getting over some of my personal problems dealing with papas’ death, we did seem to get closer. He had shown me that he could love and had deeper emotions that I had even thought, but still I prayed for salvation because I knew that would make a huge difference.
Nine months (which in Biblical numerology is the number of fruitfulness) after we were married Robert got saved. I know there will be times in which the devil tries to destroy us and there will be hard times, we are stronger and deeper and it will only get better. God is so amazing and I see it in my husband more and more everyday.