End of an era

I was lying in bed the other night trying to shut my brain off and go to sleep, and it wandered, again, to the milestone birthday I have approaching. I waxed nostalgic of course, thinking back of this last decade of my life.

So many things have transpired that I never would have dreamed of while I was in my twenties. My thirtieth birthday saw me in college with an awesome little boy who was six days shy of turning three himself. I graduated nursing school the next year and passed boards, which was a miracle in itself.

After graduating I went to work as a nurse…I have been kicked, spit at, pinched, hugged, and screamed at. I have also cried with patients, cried for patients, wanted to slap patients (or their families), almost slapped a secretary, disimpacted people, stuck needles in people, stuck tubes into almost every orifice a human being has, saw more blood than a walking dead marathon, helped tons of babies and mamas learn to breast feed, saved a few lives, and watched a few die.

I learned things about myself I didn’t like, I watched a marriage die while a friendship remained. I swore off relationships only to be blindsided by the man who would eventually turn into the man of my dreams.

I stood by the bedside of one of the greatest men in my life, while he took his last breath, just like I had done 11 years before with another great man. I grieved like I never knew I would.

I have watched and still see, family face addictions that I wish I could stop them from having. I have gotten out of church and now back in. I have been bitter, angry, and mad at God, and He has never felt that way toward me.

Throughout this past decade, there have been many experiences, I can’t remember them all, and there are some I would like to forget. The biggest thing I have noticed though, is that life is short, people don’t always please you, and we grow through our pains. The woman sitting here today has become strong, independent, caring, but also I have my own opinions and I am not afraid of stating them. I think as women get into their thirties we kind of lose that inhibition of caring so much what others think. We become our own person. I love who I am today and thank God for my life!!

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